Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
