Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
