we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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