You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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