He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
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She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
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