That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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