bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
