The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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