her vagine was all disorganized.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
not ubering you a puppy
Randomize
