theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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