He is like the real live version of the state fair..
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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