You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
