Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
