The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
i now understand why vodka
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
