I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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