he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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