How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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