I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
