New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
