Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
