apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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