You're my little dorito
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
