I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
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she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
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What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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