i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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