Kiss
Puke
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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