Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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