his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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