sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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