I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
