Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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