Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
