Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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