i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
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