last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I think people are normalizing furries
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
