Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
