What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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