It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
