The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
