4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
