I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
