I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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