What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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