remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
