marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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