I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
