this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
