i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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