You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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