Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
