Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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