Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I stole a fireplace last night.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
