Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
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Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
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all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
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