Texts From Last Night

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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.

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  (215): I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons. (267): I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner. http://tfl.nu/vxtv
  Replies (12) Good night (1276) Bad night (4770)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.

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  (647): The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display. http://tfl.nu/9yl8
  Replies (13) Good night (1183) Bad night (5865)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker

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  (254): his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker http://tfl.nu/f6e1
  Replies (19) Good night (1003) Bad night (9134)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.

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  (203): I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus. http://tfl.nu/scm8
  Replies (17) Good night (7795) Bad night (1315)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?

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  (219): My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout? http://tfl.nu/0knj
  Replies (24) Good night (5961) Bad night (2605)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .

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  (419): The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. . http://tfl.nu/zh9v
  Replies (24) Good night (7736) Bad night (1183)
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  (818): View more from California

  I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.

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  (818): I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot. http://tfl.nu/6tih
  Replies (5) Good night (5913) Bad night (1643)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone

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  (480): i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone http://tfl.nu/s959
  Replies (12) Good night (6560) Bad night (1691)
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  (863): View more from Florida

  There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.

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  (863): There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent. http://tfl.nu/g0ez
  Replies (21) Good night (7415) Bad night (1443)
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  (925): View more from California

  she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out

  (1-925): View more from California

  this was your mom?

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  (925): she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out (1-925): this was your mom? http://tfl.nu/x3f7
  Replies (4) Good night (1421) Bad night (739)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.

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  (708): There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed. http://tfl.nu/mzmz
  Replies (3) Good night (1280) Bad night (620)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??

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  (574): I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat?? http://tfl.nu/1o4f
  Replies (9) Good night (1412) Bad night (474)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.

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  (240): He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur. http://tfl.nu/z4pa
  Replies (1) Good night (629) Bad night (396)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...

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  (850): she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top... http://tfl.nu/vvwb
  Replies (3) Good night (322) Bad night (766)
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  (984): View more from North Carolina

  I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?

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  (984): I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal? http://tfl.nu/izvy
  Replies (3) Good night (618) Bad night (326)

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