Texts From Last Night

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  (1-415): View more from California

  What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?

  (415): View more from California

  Irish Spring?

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  (1-415): What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey? (415): Irish Spring? http://tfl.nu/ebnx
  Replies (20) Good night (4425) Bad night (850)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?

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  (314): WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport? http://tfl.nu/fnf6
  Replies (63) Good night (7223) Bad night (1324)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.

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  (425): I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well. http://tfl.nu/ht79
  Replies (9) Good night (1234) Bad night (3740)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin

  (954): View more from Florida

  Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language

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  (713): You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin (954): Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language http://tfl.nu/75up
  Replies (34) Good night (1113) Bad night (5055)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.

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  (210): it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it. http://tfl.nu/7f8c
  Replies (27) Good night (4522) Bad night (902)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.

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  (502): After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza. http://tfl.nu/j0sn
  Replies (5) Good night (3903) Bad night (884)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?

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  (303): Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week? http://tfl.nu/361o
  Replies (12) Good night (4092) Bad night (762)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.

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  (917): After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment. http://tfl.nu/hjie
  Replies (7) Good night (839) Bad night (1625)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.

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  (843): woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed. http://tfl.nu/bkzs
  Replies (8) Good night (1059) Bad night (632)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.

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  (850): I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night. http://tfl.nu/511n
  Replies (4) Good night (1107) Bad night (444)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?

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  (702): I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love? http://tfl.nu/7zb0
  Replies (19) Good night (4437) Bad night (741)
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  (347): View more from New York

  we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now

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  (347): we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now http://tfl.nu/ncyn
  Replies (3) Good night (551) Bad night (971)
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  (415): View more from California

  The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.

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  (415): The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican. http://tfl.nu/ke0b
  Replies (9) Good night (1286) Bad night (442)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?

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  (678): Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night? http://tfl.nu/tvyx
  Replies (1) Good night (971) Bad night (632)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.

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  (813): She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex. http://tfl.nu/7srs
  Replies (9) Good night (910) Bad night (288)

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