She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.