party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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