Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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