my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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