I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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