Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
