I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
