ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
