i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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