you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
