so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
