You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize