I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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