I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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