Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
