At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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