Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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