My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Success! We fucked roommates!
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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