i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
How drunk are you?
Completed.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
