I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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