I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
