He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
