it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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